Screams of rage could be heard along Lexington Avenue. Cursing was the predominant sound along 8th. Such verbal abuse and colorful language may be commonplace in New York City, but amongst the elitist newsmen – the beautiful people – the best Manhattan has to offer sounded like football fans at a Bears/Packers game on this cold October day. The New York press corps had just received their health insurance notices.
“Sounds like a horse is being tortured inside NYT building. Chair slammed against window. #wellbeingcheck #needadrink” – @alecbaldwin
“I think I hear @NYTimesDowd getting a Brazilian. Lambs being slaughtered inside NYT building. #nosugardrinks #hatefatpeople” – @mayormike
Democrats and anti-Israel activists were relieved to learn everyone was safe and unharmed inside the NYT offices when journalists began tweeting the cause of their terror.
“WTF Obama! My premiums just shot up higher than the national debt. What is a 6K deductible? #obamacaresux #needahug” – @pkrugman
“Botox not covered. Premiums higher than me on Thursdays. May have to start shopping at Sears. #needadrink #teapartyright” – @nygail
Similar cries were evident on social media outside the offices of Bloomberg News and the New York bureau of the Boston Globe.
“Haven’t heard cursing in Yiddish that profane since before Uncle Nate died. Anger inside Bloomberg News offices. #workplaceviolence #asianhappyending” – @larrydavis
“Sounds like a Kennedy ran out of whiskey inside the @bostonglobe building. #call911” – @carlosdanger
Schmuck Weekly was able to obtain comment that confirmed the Obamacare reality that struck the journalism world on Thursday.
“We have been promoting this program as heaven sent, the cure for the nation’s ills,” said New York Times columnist Paul Dowd. “But my premium shot up so much my children may have to attend public school – with minorities.”
Schmuck Weekly will continue tracking the developing Obamacare nightmare that is ravaging the journalism community. We will notify our readers if any children of these media elitists will become classmates of your kids. For the latest on home-schooling laws in your state, keep it here or follow us @SchmuckWeekly.