Tag Archive for Sheila Jackson-Lee

Reader Poll: Who’s more Schmuckworthy: Sheila Jackson Lee or her constituency?

Do Americans get the government they deserve? It’s hard to argue that we don’t, since the citizenry often votes for the incompetent and corrupt, election after election. You’ve heard of Illinois and California, right?

Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-TX) pauses to find an intelligent thought. Comes up empty.

Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-TX) pauses to find an intelligent thought. Comes up empty.

Yesterday it was revealed that the shame and pain of Texas, Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-18), went on a whirlwind trip in February that cost you and me $23,646. The ten-term incumbent, who has never been reelected without at least 70 percent of the vote, is notorious for her extensive jet setting and eyewitness accounts of her elitist condescension toward plane crews and passengers.

But is it Lee’s fault that John Q. Public got stuck with an exorbitant travel bill? Or are her constituents to blame for sending her back to Washington every two years?

Make your case in the Comment section and vote in our exclusive online reader poll.

Who is a bigger schmuck?

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President Carter angry over Tsarnaev medical care

Former President Jimmy Carter is publicly condemning the treatment of alleged Boston bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev. The 39th occupant of the Oval Office is displeased that Tsarnaev, a Muslim, is being detained at a Jewish hospital that has the word “Israel” in its name.

 “It’s a shame that a Muslim is being forced to receive medical care by some of the finest Jewish doctors in the world,” said Carter. “It’s inhumane that Dzhokhar has to recover in a building associated with Israel.  Fortunately, however, he will not be forced to leave a tip since he has already been circumcised.”  The alleged terrorist is recovering at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston. The alleged hotbed of Zionist hostilities serves as the main teaching facility for the Harvard Medical School. Numerous Progressive organizations and Hollywood activists are joining Mr. Carter in their call to have Tsarnaev rescued from arguably the finest hospital in the United States. 

Alarmed by Tsarnaev’s request to speak to a rabbi, the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) has filed an injunction against the hospital to prevent Tsarnaev from receiving any further transfusions of Jewish blood.

“The superior medical care Dzhokhar is receiving serves as another example of the United States doing Israel’s dirty work,” said Code Pink spokesperson Ima Betch. “We will not sit idly by as this young man is shamed by the fact that his life is being saved by Jewish doctors and the Zionist money that funds this despicable life-saving institution.”

Former President Jimmy Carter is the inspiration for Schmuck Weekly.

Former President Jimmy Carter is the inspiration for Schmuck Weekly.

Carter and Code Pink were joined at a press conference by U.S. Representatives Keith Ellison (MN) and Sheila Jackson Lee (TX), who recently co-sponsored the pending backpack registry legislation. Also joining the list of schmucks was Hollywood director and buffet aficionado Michael Moore, as well as Venezuela’s newest citizens, Danny Glover and Sean Penn.

Carter addressed the press conference accompanied by representatives from MSNBC, New York Times, Al Jazeera and Alex Jones.

“Israel’s apartheid has made its way to the United States,” Carter told a crowd of six. “It’s bad enough the Jewish state offers the finest medical care in the world to Palestinians and Arab Israelis. Now they have infiltrated our medical institutions – bringing the same humanitarian ideals to hospitals managed and financed by Jews.”

Carter continued, “Today, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev owes his life to a Jewish medical institution. The shame he will live with is unbearable. Federal authorities should have been courteous enough to find a Saudi or Pakistani doctor to treat Dzhokhar at a facility that didn’t have a mezuzah on every doorpost or a Star of David over each bed. The world is watching, and what they see is a nation conspiring with Israel to offer the finest medical care to our enemies. For shame!

Congressional Progressive Caucus heads to Cyprus for economic lessons

Members of the Congressional Progressive Caucus (CPC) will be heading to Cyprus next week to learn the art of stealing the people’s money. Last week the island nation that nobody can locate on a map resolved its current economic crisis by emptying the bank accounts of its citizenry. The action of the Cypriot government is receiving praise from big government elitists across the globe.

“Finally someone had the guts to do the right thing and just take the money sitting in the bank,” said Congresswoman Jan Schakowsky (D-IL). “Government knows better than the people. Let us intellectuals run your life and I’m sure you will be better off.”

Schakowsky, who just returned from Venezuela after attending the funeral of Hugo Chavez, will be joined in Cyprus by fellow representatives Keith Ellison (D-MN), Sheila Jackson-Lee (D-TX), Jim Moran (D-VA) and Jim McDermott (D-WA). The Cypriot government’s new economic advisory committee, Federal Underwriters Coalition for Keynesian Economic Measures (FUCKEM), will host the U.S. contingent and demonstrate how the FUCKEM principles can be implemented in the U.S.

“I can’t wait to learn the new FUCKEM method,” said Sheila Jackson-Lee. “I’ve considered FUCKEM policies in the past, but Republicans and many of my Democratic colleagues think FUCKEM is wrong. I disagree and look forward to making FUCKEM universally accepted in Washington.”

Currently the U.S. debt is north of $16 trillion. According to budgetary experts at the accounting firm of Goldstein, Horowitz and Murphy, implementing the Cypriot solution in the United States would bring the debt down to just south of $16 trillion.

When asked about the negligible impact, Mrs. Schakowsky retorted, “We have no intention of ever resolving the debt crisis! We are just looking for a new method of achieving equality by   procuring the hard-earned money of successful folks in order to redistribute the funds until we can secure control of Congress, enabling us to pass real tax reform, you know, tax hikes on everyone earning above minimum wage.”

The CPC will be in Cyprus for three days and then will travel to the Gaza Strip in a show of   solidarity with the Palestinians, culminating in a ceremonial rocket launching at the Israeli city of Sderot.